Izzit you all or izzit me?

i tried my best to be ur best fren/daughter. i tried my best to keep quiet. but no matter how hard i try, i am always the one who get a scolding. izzit me or izzit you all? i tried my best to please you all. but i'm always the one who is lost. no one wans to tell me wad i hav done wrong. yes, the expectations for me from you all is 5% but my best is only 3%. put yourselves in my boots and think of me. i tried my best to keep away from you all in case you all will be upset when you see me. wad you wan me to do? lock myself in jail? in my room? in a cupboard? or wad?! is not tat i dun wan to tok to you all its jux tat i am afraid tat i might offend you. no matter if i'm quiet or not, i'm still the one at fault. i really dun noe wad i hav done wrong. if you are kind enough, pls tell me. i really dun noe god sent me down to earth for wad? to let you all scold me? so tat you all will not be angry? or even hit me? insult me? i had done my very best. but no1 appreciate wad i've done. i mean no1 even noe tat i'm dere. when you all needed me, you all say lots of nice words. but when you dun need me, you tink i'm ur dog and scold me. Hey! i hav feelings too! i'm not ur house dog. ur not my master. i dun hav to listen or please you. but i chose to do so. not because i'm scared of you. because i dun wan to lose you. i hav a limit too. when my limit is over, i shout too. but you all din noe. its not tat i dun tell you. its because you all chose not to noe. wad hav i done? i really dun noe. i beg you. i kneel down and beg you. forgive me and tell me. i beg you..............................................................

Quiz I Copy From Queenie.

Love Quiz
1. Where is the person you want the most now ?

Dunno coz i dun wan any1.

19. Do you sleep with the TV on ?

Nope .

20. Are you too forgiving ?

Yup.

21. Have you ever wanted to be a firefighter ?

Tats a guy's job.

22. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex ?

Nope. Heck care. Wad its past, its past.

23. Who do you miss ?

Mummy, Jies, Meis, Dis, Kors

24. What was the last thing you put in your mouth ?

I bake de chocolate cake.

25. If you could have any car what would it be ?

Moto.

26. What are you stressed about ?

Stupid tuitions.

27. Do you have anything in your pockets right now ?

No Pockets ..

28. How many windows are open on your computer ?

5.

29.In the past week have you gotten sick ?

Sore throat.

30. In the past week have you gotten your hair cut ?

No.

31. Who was your last call from?

My mum.

32. What can't you wait for ?

Chinese new year. Coz got money take and only time i can gamble. :D

33. What do you do most of your time ?

Sleeping. Zzz.

34. How much clothes do you have in your closet ?

Go out de clothes izzit? 10+ not more than 15.

35. On a scale of 1-10 , how good is life ?

7.

36. Will you and your ex ever get back together ?

Nope. To me he has died.

37. Do you think you'll be a good mother/father ?

Let time take course.

38. Are you high-maintenance ?

Har?

39. Do people hate you ?

Yes. Very.

40. Do you trust your best friend ?

Coz la.

41. What's your pets name ?

Too poor cnt afford a pet.

42 . If you could change one thing about yourself , what would it be ?

My attitude.

43. Where is your father ?

Working.

44. Does the person you love know you love him/her ?

No. Coz i dun like any1.

45. If you could tell him one thing , what would it be ?

Hi.

Class Chalet!!

went class chalet yesterday. so damn cool!!!! i reached lot1 at aroud 11 i am the last one to reach. =x den aft tat go take mrt go pasir ris den tok tok tok in mrt so noisy... hahas den take bus go downtown east. den xiao jing, hui luan, jun ming and me go find the ice skating. but reach dere le see the price wa seh so expensive so din go lor. den the rest of them go escape 1st mah so we go meet them. we reach escape so many ppl queue so i go find chelsie cut queue haha =x den buy ticket le jiu go in play rides le. jia yi, xiao jing, hui luan me go sit the superman ride. the one whr u lie down den you fly tat one lor. den nxt ride go sit the quite high ride actually xiao jing no wan sit de but i keep asking her sit she in the end got sit la den she cry... i feel so guilty lor. i mean i shouldnt keep asking her to sit la. make her cry. i so bad. sorry la xiao jing. den aft tat i tink we go sit the family coaster. hui luan & xiao jing sit 2gether den jia yi & me sit 2gether. xiao jing and jia yi keep screaming while me and hui luan keep laughing. hahahahahhahahahaha. aft tat we go sit the ferry wheel very slow. but nice view. den me and jiayi go play the water boat. the stupid chocolate shirt boy outside keep spraying us la. zzz la. den chelsie, jiayi, me go bac chalet room. den i go dere sit sit. den go find hui luan they all liao. den w8 them eat den go bac room again. play black jack with some boys. i win $1.30 haha. den go bac escape play. i and yi xiu play wet and wild so wet la. coz i sit behind. den l8r hui luan, yi xiu, chelsie, jiayi, me go sit pirate boat. soooooooo damn scary la. den jiayi cry. jiayi u ok now? den go bac bbq have lots of fun yesterday!! thx guys for giving me such a fun day! :D

My visit to the dentist!!

went to dentist today. i tot tat nid pull out the tooth with roots today but no hav... heng ar... today i did the mould thingy so next visit which is next friday put braces liao... so happy! so excited!! looking forward to tat day hahas class chalet is approaching. left 1 week! hahas happy happy!

i'm bac to my entu days haha

My Life

Living in a violent family... Hav a violent dad. Hav a mum tat always scold bad word on me. Actually is them both. Hate when quarrels come, over idiotic things. Hate it when they act good to me. I hope i can change to a gal tat has her own world. She wun tok to any1 unless it is important, she will always be by herself. She will come home lock the door and do wadeva she wants. She will keep everything to herself. She dun hav any troubles when she dun tok. she will always nod her head. so she will not offend other ppl. I would like tat kind of life. Every1 will ignore her presence including her parents and relatives. She will be alone all on her own. Like this blog's title. She will be in the dark. She will not mingle with the rest but she will mingle with the air.

I hope tat i'm in the dark.

Its hard for me. GIV ME A BREAK!!! I HAD ENOUGH!

Why am i always the one hurt? Why are all of u so cruel to me?! i had enough! enough of tis world! tis fucking world! Why izzit me?! hadnt i done enough? hadnt i tried my best? hadnt enough tat i sacrifice? Am i tat irritating to u? am i?!!!!!!!! i tried my best to change! i tried my very hard to corperate wif u all! but u all want more! more tat i can giv! u all said tat i am not willing, but i really cant do it! can u all put urself in my boots and tink of me? i'm always in a corner. i'm always an extra. when all of u nid me, u had a sweet tougue. but when u dont nid me, u throw me away. I AM NOT A THING I AM A HUMAN I HAV FEELINGS TOO!! TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN NOT A THING!!!! I HATE IT! I HATE U ALL!!!


I tried to keep my tears but i cant. i tried to force it back but it wont listen to me. i'm jux too deeply hurt. i dun wan to listen. I DUN WAN TO LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi ppl.

Yox! Si be tired today. jux reach home. no go cca again. sianx. is not i dun wan go lor. is i got smth on. family matters. tink dao we gonna hav chalet so happy. den go blading yes! haha. long long bo blade liao. super high neh tis few days. dunno why. sry hor say wan post and tell u all more but wad i had written in the last yr's diary. but i tink tink better dun la coz its not very special actually. tired seh. my hairstlye sux la. sianx la. si be ugly. mayb 2moro go cut. haha. coz now its like mushroom head liddat. dunno if can get a free haircut bo. coz tis few days really pok liao haiz okok tats all. byez. tis few days no eat lunch neh den ppl see me jiu say like wa u thin liao leh. den i is like wan say of coz la home oso nth to eat. den see my mum dere i bo pian jiu ren ren ren dun say out. but really wish like 1 day can go out eat a proper lunch liddat den like go watch a movie wif my frens liddat. den my mum is like 2 weeks b4 sch reopens i will cancel the plan for internet. tat time my dad still say wan put me at my cousin's house evryday at dere tuition 2 weeks see me once jiu can liao. wth. if he liddat i sure leave tis place de. i mean if he no wan to see me i oso dun wan see him wad. no big deal. haix. cant escape tis is my destiny. haix. my mum oso very wad den my dad say liddat she kinna like erm oso agree. how i wish i can go chalet faster. so i leave tis horrible place. kinna hate it very much. haiz. good nite evry1.

" I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me." Matthew 25:40

Lovely Memories

I found my diary tat i have wrote last year. The things tat had happened in sch, home, with frens. I found a entry about william[not the 1/8 guy] and dicky. But in tat entry i wrote 'gogo' and not their name i tink i still had not know their names yet. I added wad i had remembered on a fresh new page. Ok there it goes.
6/8/07
Yesterday[5/8/07], there was two uncle[one is ah jo's xiao jiu another one is william and dicky's dad] and two 'gogo'[william and dicky] came to ah jo ah ma's house. Now i know one of the 'gogo' already ha! + i hadnt had a chance to tok to dicky as he need to rush to his sch's hostel. On the way there i tink tat he is in the other car. we drove him to the hostel and the adult chat with him for a while den we went farm mart for dinner. By tat time i made frens with william already. those ppl hu know me shoould noe tat i very easy make fren with ppl de. =x. So i sat beside him den chat chat. He took out his phone to msg den i saw his phone so cool lor. Without sliding it it looks like the kind of old fashion nokia phone but slide open le it is a PDA. I tink i asked to see his phone den he lend me so i go play game. Aft dinner i bring him go see see lor. den i got interested in the one dollar machine. so i go see. He folo. Den i saw the pig very cute so tried my luck. I got wad i want so happy hahs. He said he oso wan try to get a pig for his sis. I help him den got a white mice. I tried again den got a pig again so gave it to him den he wan giv me bac one dollar. But i dun wan take la no matter how hard he try oso cnt make me take the one dollar so he gave up. I so stubborn whr can make me do wad i dun wan. hahas. 2moro den write the next day. hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah.

-

my mum ask me stay at home to see wad the maid doing today.

coz no go cca.

den l8r got smth on. lolx.

the maid cant really understand wad am i saying. so sian.

like one chicken and one duck liddat. sianx.

den i jux now go throw rubbish.

saw the veggie all throw away.

i tink she no eat.

so shocked to see tis scene lor.

coz my mum got so many maid none of them is liddat de.

den she iron clothes i come in her back facing me.

den i on com she facing my com le. lmao!!!

coz she noe i will on drama de.

but at 1st i on my com den read story book lolx.

den i tell my mum the food ting she go scold me say i din see her.

lol. den i ask the maid u din finish the veggie arh?

she say finish finish.

den i ask her den y i see the rubbish bin inside got veggie?

den she giv me a kind of scary look and say manah? which is whr in malay.

i see liao si be buay song.

if she not maid which is protected by gov i sure bash her up de.

GRRR!!! make me so damn buay song.

i wan go play noob game maple liao i wan see if got wad changes.

hahas so long din go see see liao go scold ppl hahas!!!!!

muhahahaha. kk tats all. good day to evry one!

Time Tuh Relax!!

>yes! pipa exam over le!!!
>time to relax yeah!!!!
>2moro not going cca. family matters.
>i play some parts rong. sobx.
>k now my post.




Reached lot1 at about 12+. Go KFC find Chuhui, Layleng, Sufang, Minyu, Siying, Cindy, Agnes, Hanlu. Some haven eat finish. Agnes playing wif the left over food and drinks. Very groze lor. Den they ok le jiu go take mrt to clementi. Pipa so heavy lor. Take till so far. Wad the... Agnes keep li siao Chuhui lor. Haix. Agnes 1st i 2nd for the exam. so early. Finish le me and agnes go upstairs buy drink den her fifty cents got stuck. She keep making funny action lor. Den i choke on my soft drink. Very pain lor. Den l8r i manage to use paper and push the money in. Hahas. Den aft evry1 finish le we go see see got wad thing eat den siying din see got the step she trip over it den her pipa oso fall. den the head broke. Sadded. AWW! Siying pro lor, her pipa break le still can remain so calm. if me i sure cry dao dunno wad le de. Den l8r go bac lot1 i eat subway the rest eat other tings. Den jiu no more le. i come bac home den post hahas. hope i can pass my exam. pray. hahas ok tats all...

Alot of you might hate me.

>Alot of you mught hate me.
>If i'd done smth tat you dislike to you, i'm sorry.
>i'm not seeking for forgiveness as i hav no rights to do tat.
>i jux dun wan any enemies. hating some1 is painful.
>Life is short. dun waste your precious time on hating some1.
>i hav a attitude like a volcano, it can explode anytime.
>so dun irritate me.
>its not all of you. i hav a bad temper and attitude. i tried to change but failed.
>Thanks for the ppl hu love me.. i love you too hahas.
>i'm straight forward and dun really noe how to express myself.
>irritating, talkative, retard, idiot, stupid or wadeva else. these are me.
>it isnt me hu wanted to be liddat.. i cant help it too.



>love, megan.






I've tried to be beside you when i'm needed but i was pushed away by you...

Long time no see~

>hi ppl! long time no see!
>tis few days i'm not feeling well... dizzy...
>2moro's the day for the course. i'm in hip hop. *ahem*
>the course will end at about 1+ so still hav cca.
>i'm afraid tat it will be too tiring for me and i cant take it.
>haiz bo pian. be strong gal!!! u cant fall... *lol*
>2dae went sim lim tower go see camera wif my xiao gu.
>at the shop tat time the shop keeper was serving a ang mor.
>the ang mor see see den say he no wan the shop keeper scold him leh!
>say wad buy camera only u tink so long like wan buy benz liddat. waste his time.
>i hear dao si be buay song la!!! whr can liddat? ya la camera compare wif benz he win la.
>but den he tot wad the ang mor buy lollipop ar?! lame seh him... -,-
>den proceed to causeway. we was walking. den i not feeling well.
>tell mummy she still shop shop shop den buay song lor.
>den i wearing ripples. very ex to me la den the maid go step on it!!!
>i turn at her den nag nag den the owner say why why wads wrong?!
>wa lan si be buay song so i dun care her. den she very fan so i jux gave her 1 line.
>am i toking to her?! den she jux walk away... wtf.
>tis kind of ppl hor so fan la!!!
>aft wen imm... den eat liao jiu come home le.

Ahhh

>ahhh mummy birthdae is 2day... how? buy wad?!

JuX nOrMaL pOsT

>jux wake half an hour ago.
>read the cooking book tat my mum bought for me and msg jack and kelvin. lol.
>finish reading le jiu wan call lybb but press the no. some1 come ans eh is my maple kor. lol!!!
>so wad cann den coz lybb de voice very deep mah so i say my maple kor he sound like gal.
>den i kana scolding. den of coz scold him bac... blehx
>l8r got tuition. go cha ling jie dere la... sianx cann coz i sick.
>i like got fever liddat lor.yesterday at lot1 like goin to faint liddat liao lor
>feel like staying at home sleep but cnt coz i already tell her tat i goin liao.
>arguig wif lybb now la. he so wad lor suan ppl. den keep loling. toot la him.
>tats all for today. bb!

Go watch movie^^

>today go watch movie...
>actually is go wif yuyou only but saw cecilia, kai min, pei sing on the way up to the cinema.
>kai min ask we go watch the coffin yuyou oso wan go, so i no watch hsm le lor... sobx.... lol.
>while w8ing for the movie to start, we went NTUC to buy tibits smuggle inside lor...
>movie tat time i no wan ppl see me scared so i keep ahhhhhhing... like saying nia lor. den pei sing tot got wad, so scared. lol!
>during the movie keep msging william. disturb him. bleh XD no la. is gang hao he chatting wif me mah.
>aft movie go shopping. den wen going down the escalator yuyou say a guy keep staring at peising's butt. lol.
>so we dun care jux walk lor. den suddenly the guy pop out say wan peising's no.! lol!!! i was laughing like siao cann...
>we keep running away from him lor. den i leg pain liao so turn around scold him. but bo eng. they keep foloing. (thr's 3 guys)
>pei sing mei li wu fa dang! haha! den the guy say i jealous tis is wad i was told. if i heard it i sure giv him eat bun!!!!!!
>den mummy jux say she got bf liao! den they jux go lor. i mean they secretly folo. den i keep saying pei sing.
>she wear underwear dere cann!!!! no la. is fbt shorts but its really like underpants can!
>yuyou going bac le so we send her till 302 de busstop dere. den on the way a uncle keep 'ahem' so i li siao peising say the uncle wan her hp no. she really siam seh!!!!! hahahahhaahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>den l8r shop shop and go bac... sianx...
tats all bb

alot tuition day... =x

>today woke at 7.50 lidat ba. walk wif my mum to lot1 same ting lor quarrel till we reach dere.

>reach le oso kana scolded super buay song la. reach dere jiu go ya kun eat breakfast.

> mum go work so i alone. den eat finish at about 8.20 ba.

>so go take mrt to admirlty go qiang kor dere for tuition.

>11+ end so take mrt go bac lot1 again... sianx

>go dere find colour hairspray coz cnt find extension. find whole place le no hav lor sianx.

>but god bless! i try my luck at the outside guardian no hav den anyhow go the hairshop beside.

>guess wad! they hav extension! of coz hav put la... den go bac lot1 saw kai juan and peising.

>go food juction wif them w8 for kai min. den told them i put extension.

>kaimin ask me bring her go den she oso got put haha!! aft take 985 go bukit timah to peihwa for tuition... sianx!!!

>den no den liaox! haha....

tats all! stay tune!

Nth

24 oct was a fun day
>
i wan li siao andre and johnathan so called andre and tell him tat chelsie fall down le ask him
>
come out quickly
>
believe it he came out!
>
haha tat time i was laughing like mad cann
>
den chelsie scold me
>
haha so funny
>
its the same again la
>
i li siao ppl make ppl pissed off and pai seh
>
and of coz la, got scold pplthe ppl is of coz andre la so obx
>
so sad mummy din go if she go william wun be tat alone coz mummy say wen she see ppl lonely
she will li siao de... den it will be more funny... haha...
>
tis few days chionging to finish devil beside you haha.so funny
>
mummy still ask me to watch why why love which make me more wan to chiong finish devil
beside you haha.
>
the gals of coz... li siao... crazy.
>
i so suay cann playing water tat time i was standing between william and chelsie. den they go spray me water den pei sing join in so suay...
>
heard from chelsie tat johnathan go throw andre's shoe into the water haha...
>
xiao jing and hui luan, jiayi all no bring extra shirt.so i splash them kana scolded... sadded...
birthday gal still muz kana scolding...
>
tat peising flirt... see andre they all come le pang seh us go play wif andre they all lor... psk...
den l8r chelsie, peising, andre, johnathan all go home 1st...
>
xiao jing hui luan me and jiayi go cinema upstairs buy popcorn eat.xj so bad lor... eat all the sweet one then giv hl the white white one... xj bad bad... beat her... ^^ they create blog no ask me join... so bad... cheh... no fren them le la...