Izzit you all or izzit me?

i tried my best to be ur best fren/daughter. i tried my best to keep quiet. but no matter how hard i try, i am always the one who get a scolding. izzit me or izzit you all? i tried my best to please you all. but i'm always the one who is lost. no one wans to tell me wad i hav done wrong. yes, the expectations for me from you all is 5% but my best is only 3%. put yourselves in my boots and think of me. i tried my best to keep away from you all in case you all will be upset when you see me. wad you wan me to do? lock myself in jail? in my room? in a cupboard? or wad?! is not tat i dun wan to tok to you all its jux tat i am afraid tat i might offend you. no matter if i'm quiet or not, i'm still the one at fault. i really dun noe wad i hav done wrong. if you are kind enough, pls tell me. i really dun noe god sent me down to earth for wad? to let you all scold me? so tat you all will not be angry? or even hit me? insult me? i had done my very best. but no1 appreciate wad i've done. i mean no1 even noe tat i'm dere. when you all needed me, you all say lots of nice words. but when you dun need me, you tink i'm ur dog and scold me. Hey! i hav feelings too! i'm not ur house dog. ur not my master. i dun hav to listen or please you. but i chose to do so. not because i'm scared of you. because i dun wan to lose you. i hav a limit too. when my limit is over, i shout too. but you all din noe. its not tat i dun tell you. its because you all chose not to noe. wad hav i done? i really dun noe. i beg you. i kneel down and beg you. forgive me and tell me. i beg you..............................................................

Quiz I Copy From Queenie.

Love Quiz
1. Where is the person you want the most now ?

Dunno coz i dun wan any1.

19. Do you sleep with the TV on ?

Nope .

20. Are you too forgiving ?

Yup.

21. Have you ever wanted to be a firefighter ?

Tats a guy's job.

22. Do you still have pictures of you & your ex ?

Nope. Heck care. Wad its past, its past.

23. Who do you miss ?

Mummy, Jies, Meis, Dis, Kors

24. What was the last thing you put in your mouth ?

I bake de chocolate cake.

25. If you could have any car what would it be ?

Moto.

26. What are you stressed about ?

Stupid tuitions.

27. Do you have anything in your pockets right now ?

No Pockets ..

28. How many windows are open on your computer ?

5.

29.In the past week have you gotten sick ?

Sore throat.

30. In the past week have you gotten your hair cut ?

No.

31. Who was your last call from?

My mum.

32. What can't you wait for ?

Chinese new year. Coz got money take and only time i can gamble. :D

33. What do you do most of your time ?

Sleeping. Zzz.

34. How much clothes do you have in your closet ?

Go out de clothes izzit? 10+ not more than 15.

35. On a scale of 1-10 , how good is life ?

7.

36. Will you and your ex ever get back together ?

Nope. To me he has died.

37. Do you think you'll be a good mother/father ?

Let time take course.

38. Are you high-maintenance ?

Har?

39. Do people hate you ?

Yes. Very.

40. Do you trust your best friend ?

Coz la.

41. What's your pets name ?

Too poor cnt afford a pet.

42 . If you could change one thing about yourself , what would it be ?

My attitude.

43. Where is your father ?

Working.

44. Does the person you love know you love him/her ?

No. Coz i dun like any1.

45. If you could tell him one thing , what would it be ?

Hi.

Class Chalet!!

went class chalet yesterday. so damn cool!!!! i reached lot1 at aroud 11 i am the last one to reach. =x den aft tat go take mrt go pasir ris den tok tok tok in mrt so noisy... hahas den take bus go downtown east. den xiao jing, hui luan, jun ming and me go find the ice skating. but reach dere le see the price wa seh so expensive so din go lor. den the rest of them go escape 1st mah so we go meet them. we reach escape so many ppl queue so i go find chelsie cut queue haha =x den buy ticket le jiu go in play rides le. jia yi, xiao jing, hui luan me go sit the superman ride. the one whr u lie down den you fly tat one lor. den nxt ride go sit the quite high ride actually xiao jing no wan sit de but i keep asking her sit she in the end got sit la den she cry... i feel so guilty lor. i mean i shouldnt keep asking her to sit la. make her cry. i so bad. sorry la xiao jing. den aft tat i tink we go sit the family coaster. hui luan & xiao jing sit 2gether den jia yi & me sit 2gether. xiao jing and jia yi keep screaming while me and hui luan keep laughing. hahahahahhahahahaha. aft tat we go sit the ferry wheel very slow. but nice view. den me and jiayi go play the water boat. the stupid chocolate shirt boy outside keep spraying us la. zzz la. den chelsie, jiayi, me go bac chalet room. den i go dere sit sit. den go find hui luan they all liao. den w8 them eat den go bac room again. play black jack with some boys. i win $1.30 haha. den go bac escape play. i and yi xiu play wet and wild so wet la. coz i sit behind. den l8r hui luan, yi xiu, chelsie, jiayi, me go sit pirate boat. soooooooo damn scary la. den jiayi cry. jiayi u ok now? den go bac bbq have lots of fun yesterday!! thx guys for giving me such a fun day! :D

My visit to the dentist!!

went to dentist today. i tot tat nid pull out the tooth with roots today but no hav... heng ar... today i did the mould thingy so next visit which is next friday put braces liao... so happy! so excited!! looking forward to tat day hahas class chalet is approaching. left 1 week! hahas happy happy!

i'm bac to my entu days haha

My Life

Living in a violent family... Hav a violent dad. Hav a mum tat always scold bad word on me. Actually is them both. Hate when quarrels come, over idiotic things. Hate it when they act good to me. I hope i can change to a gal tat has her own world. She wun tok to any1 unless it is important, she will always be by herself. She will come home lock the door and do wadeva she wants. She will keep everything to herself. She dun hav any troubles when she dun tok. she will always nod her head. so she will not offend other ppl. I would like tat kind of life. Every1 will ignore her presence including her parents and relatives. She will be alone all on her own. Like this blog's title. She will be in the dark. She will not mingle with the rest but she will mingle with the air.

I hope tat i'm in the dark.

Its hard for me. GIV ME A BREAK!!! I HAD ENOUGH!

Why am i always the one hurt? Why are all of u so cruel to me?! i had enough! enough of tis world! tis fucking world! Why izzit me?! hadnt i done enough? hadnt i tried my best? hadnt enough tat i sacrifice? Am i tat irritating to u? am i?!!!!!!!! i tried my best to change! i tried my very hard to corperate wif u all! but u all want more! more tat i can giv! u all said tat i am not willing, but i really cant do it! can u all put urself in my boots and tink of me? i'm always in a corner. i'm always an extra. when all of u nid me, u had a sweet tougue. but when u dont nid me, u throw me away. I AM NOT A THING I AM A HUMAN I HAV FEELINGS TOO!! TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN NOT A THING!!!! I HATE IT! I HATE U ALL!!!


I tried to keep my tears but i cant. i tried to force it back but it wont listen to me. i'm jux too deeply hurt. i dun wan to listen. I DUN WAN TO LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi ppl.

Yox! Si be tired today. jux reach home. no go cca again. sianx. is not i dun wan go lor. is i got smth on. family matters. tink dao we gonna hav chalet so happy. den go blading yes! haha. long long bo blade liao. super high neh tis few days. dunno why. sry hor say wan post and tell u all more but wad i had written in the last yr's diary. but i tink tink better dun la coz its not very special actually. tired seh. my hairstlye sux la. sianx la. si be ugly. mayb 2moro go cut. haha. coz now its like mushroom head liddat. dunno if can get a free haircut bo. coz tis few days really pok liao haiz okok tats all. byez. tis few days no eat lunch neh den ppl see me jiu say like wa u thin liao leh. den i is like wan say of coz la home oso nth to eat. den see my mum dere i bo pian jiu ren ren ren dun say out. but really wish like 1 day can go out eat a proper lunch liddat den like go watch a movie wif my frens liddat. den my mum is like 2 weeks b4 sch reopens i will cancel the plan for internet. tat time my dad still say wan put me at my cousin's house evryday at dere tuition 2 weeks see me once jiu can liao. wth. if he liddat i sure leave tis place de. i mean if he no wan to see me i oso dun wan see him wad. no big deal. haix. cant escape tis is my destiny. haix. my mum oso very wad den my dad say liddat she kinna like erm oso agree. how i wish i can go chalet faster. so i leave tis horrible place. kinna hate it very much. haiz. good nite evry1.

" I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me." Matthew 25:40